Do I Need to Give Something to the Family?

Losing someone or knowing someone who has lost a loved one can be a difficult, confusing time. Your thoughts are filled with sadness and memories of the deceased, but also the surviving family. They are busy contacting friends and relatives, making arrangements, and grieving all at once. Do I need to give them something? Flowers? A donation? You might feel obligated to help out or express your sympathy in tangible ways, and these gestures are always appreciated, but never expected.

The act of sending flowers to the funeral services is very common and has been around forever. Funeral wreaths or floral arrangements express sympathy and bring joy during this hard time. Close family members and friends usually purchase or send arrangements to the services. It is also common to send flowers to the family home.

Requesting charitable donations “in lieu of flowers” is becoming more common. The reason stems from the idea that the flowers will fade, but a donation lasts as it helps someone who is living. Before a person passes, they might state their wishes for donations to a specific charity or association in their will. Donations “in lieu of flowers” that aren’t specific to a charity might be used to help cover funeral expenses.

Sometimes losing a family member puts survivors in a tough financial situation. In some cases, friends or relatives might set up a trust to help the family with education for surviving children, or other monthly expenses or income. People don’t always want to accept help, so it’s important to be sensitive and considerate in doing so.

Sending a card to the family is another way to let them know you’re thinking of them during this time. You don’t need to send flowers or money if finances are a concern. Simply sending a card with kind words and offering your support will be cherished. It can be difficult to know what to say to the family when someone passes, but sometimes just being there for someone is the best gift of all.

Sympathy can be expressed in a lot of different ways. One person might give a donation while another offers his/her shoulder to lean on. Any sign of compassion, no matter how it is expressed, will be greatly appreciated.